Ask Amy: Woman leaves town, Business partner shows up, Neighbors wonder if something needs to be said

Dear Amy: My neighbor “Sharon” and her husband “Stan” have been married for over 30 years and have two grown children. During the pandemic, Stan mainly worked from home. His office is an hour away.

“Jocelyn”, his partner for 25 years, has grown closer to the family over the years. Sharon tells me that Jocelyn sometimes spends the night with them when there is an upcoming business meeting in our area, as she lives quite far away. They all seem to enjoy each other’s company.

We live in narrow, interconnected townhouses with adjacent front doors and porches, so we often see each other’s comings and goings.

A few times a year, Sharon goes out of town for the weekend.

Several times when Sharon left town I saw Jocelyn arrive a few minutes after Sharon left.

It almost looks like she’s waiting for Sharon to leave! Three or four hours later, she will get out of the house and go back.

Stan walks her to his car and makes some sort of strong statement, like, “Well, now I have to get ready for my next meeting.” “

He looks awkward, as if the statement is for the good of others.

Today my husband was sitting on our porch, so he witnessed this theater.

We then discussed whether or not they might be having an affair.

My husband said that maybe Stan realizes that it sounds incriminating, and that he overcompensates for our good.

Or maybe he’s having an affair.

I’ve lived long enough to know that sometimes things are just what they appear to be. Why does this woman show up every time Susan leaves town?

I’ve been keeping my mouth shut for a few years now, but I would feel bad if my suspicions were true. Do I say something to Sharon, and if so, what can I say that won’t hurt?

Or do I have to accept that it’s none of my business? She is a warm and loving person and I appreciate her friendship.

– Too close for comfort

Dear Too Close: “Sharon” once told you that “Jocelyn” is an occasional presence in their house. As her husband’s longtime business partner, you might assume that if there were any suspicions Sharon would have had them already.

You don’t have to draw any other conclusions.

The next time Jocelyn returns and “Stan” makes his statement too loud, you and / or your husband should wave, introduce yourself to Jocelyn, and put Stan out of his embarrassing misery.

Dear Amy: Many new cafes and other small businesses these days have gender-neutral bathrooms.

Assuming half the customers are men and the other half are women, should occupants raise or lower the toilet seat after using it because they do not know the gender of the next occupant?

I get yelled at when I’m home if I leave the toilet seat up, because I’m the only man in the house. Please advise.

– I have to go to LA

Dear Got to Go: It’s more considerate to treat a public toilet with the same foresight to the next user as you would treat your bathroom at home.

Both men and women sit on the toilet. Falling into the pelvis because the seat is raised is a definite danger to the safety of the next user.

Because you don’t know the purpose and necessary positioning of the next person in the toilet (male or female), it seems wiser to always keep the seat down when you go out.

I will be happy to do an informal survey of readers who email me on this topic, and report the results in a future column.

Dear Amy: Whenever I see someone in your column commenting on the damage that will be done to someone who sleeps with their stuffed animal or blanket as an adult, I laugh.

I was given a stuffed puppy for my first birthday, and this puppy went to Vietnam with me 17 years later. He has been with me for most of my adult life.

He was finally replaced 20 years ago by a similar puppy who is with me to this day.

Yes, I am married and happy, and my wife understands and supports my attachment to needing something under my arm at night.

I was a successful businessman, now retired, and at 68, I can tell you, it never gave me any problems.

– Glenn

Dear Glenn: Real men love love!

(You can email Amy Dickinson at [email protected] or send a letter to Ask Amy, PO Box 194, Freeville, NY 13068. You can also follow her on Twitter @askingamy Where Facebook.)

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